When I first told friends and family that we weren’t finding out our baby’s gender, the reactions ranged from “Wow, that’s so exciting!” to “I could NEVER do that!”
And trust me—I get both sides.
In a world where you can know everything instantly, waiting until birth to find out your baby’s gender feels like one of the last true surprises left in life. And spoiler alert: it was one of the best decisions my husband and I ever made.
If you’re on the fence or just curious about what it’s really like to wait, let me take you inside what it’s like to keep that secret until delivery day — the highs, the hard parts, and everything in between.
Why We Chose to Wait
Honestly? At first, I wasn’t sure I could handle it.
I’m a planner. I like to know. I like control.
But when I really thought about it, I realized that knowing the gender wouldn’t change the most important thing: we were having a baby. Boy or girl, we’d love this little person with our whole hearts.
Waiting made the pregnancy feel a little more magical, a little more focused on the baby instead of the stuff. It helped us stay grounded in the joy of becoming parents, not just preparing for a son or daughter.
The Benefits of Waiting
1️⃣ The Excitement Builds
Every appointment, every kick, every nursery project was filled with that little thrill of mystery. My husband and I would play guessing games, analyze old wives’ tales, and laugh at strangers’ predictions in grocery store lines.
That anticipation made the entire pregnancy feel special from start to finish.
2️⃣ Fewer Stereotypes and Expectations
Without knowing the gender, we focused on preparing for a baby, not for a “little princess” or a “future linebacker.”
Our nursery was gender-neutral (and beautiful).
The clothes were cozy basics that worked for any baby.
The gifts we received were practical instead of heavily themed.
It allowed us to keep expectations open and just meet our child as they were.
3️⃣ Delivery Day Was Pure Magic
I will never forget the moment my baby was born and the doctor announced, “It’s a girl!” It was surreal, emotional, and absolutely unforgettable.
In that second, we met our daughter for the first time, without any preconceived ideas. It was one of the most beautiful surprises of my life.
The Challenges of Waiting (Let’s Be Real)
Now, full honesty — waiting isn’t always easy.
1️⃣ The Pressure From Others
You’ll get lots of “You HAVE to find out!” comments.
People will ask constantly if you know.
Some friends and family might feel frustrated that they can’t plan gifts or monogram everything ahead of time.
You’ll have to gently remind everyone:
“We’re just excited to meet our baby, no matter what.”
2️⃣ Shopping Can Be Tricky
There’s no denying that stores are full of pink vs. blue options.
I focused on buying the basics: white onesies, soft blankets, neutral sleepers, and cozy hats. Once the baby arrived, we added a few gender-specific outfits as gifts or little splurges.
Honestly, newborns live in pajamas for months — you don’t need much upfront!
3️⃣ The Curiosity Gets Stronger Near the End
By month eight, I won’t lie—I was dying to know.
I’d overanalyze every ultrasound photo.
I’d Google all the heartbeat-gender myths.
I even had a secret boy name and girl name list constantly on my mind.
But that growing anticipation made the delivery day reveal even sweeter.
Helpful Tips If You Decide to Wait
If you’re thinking about waiting, here are a few mom-tested tips to make it easier:
✅ Communicate with your OB or midwife
Be super clear at every appointment that you don’t want to know the gender. Put it in your chart. Remind every new nurse or ultrasound tech.
✅ Prepare neutral essentials
Stick to creams, grays, sage greens, soft yellows, and whites for the nursery and wardrobe. There are so many gorgeous gender-neutral options now!
✅ Have names picked out for both
This was actually really fun for my husband and me—we bonded over baby names and had options ready for either outcome.
✅ Focus on the bigger picture
Read parenting books, prepare mentally and emotionally, and remind yourself daily: you’re meeting your baby, not a gender label.
Questions I Got Asked (All The Time)
“How do you plan the nursery?”
Simple: we picked colors we loved (light gray and mint green) and kept things sweet and soft. Babies don’t care what color their crib sheets are, I promise.
“How will people know what gifts to get you?”
We registered for practical items: car seats, bottles, diapers, swaddles. After the baby arrived, friends and family were more than happy to bring cute outfits.
“Weren’t you dying to know?”
Of course! But I kept reminding myself that the waiting was part of the gift.
A Personal Story: The Delivery Room Moment
The moment our baby was born was like a movie scene I’ll never forget. After hours of labor, exhaustion, and tears, hearing the words “It’s a girl!” made everything melt away.
There was something incredibly powerful about meeting her for the first time without already knowing who she was.
It wasn’t better than finding out earlier—it was just different. And for me, it made her arrival feel sacred, like opening a beautiful present after months of anticipation.
Is Waiting Right for You?
Every family is different. Some parents thrive on planning. Others enjoy the suspense. There’s no “right” or “wrong” way.
If you’re considering waiting, ask yourself:
- Can I handle not knowing?
- Will it add stress or joy?
- Is my partner on board?
- Do I feel pressure from others—or am I truly open to the surprise?
If the idea excites you more than it stresses you, you may love waiting.
Final Thoughts (From One Mama’s Heart to Yours)
Waiting until birth to find out gender is one of the few old-fashioned surprises we still get in this modern world.
It taught me patience, presence, and trust.
It kept the focus on my growing baby, not a pink or blue wardrobe.
It gave us a delivery moment we’ll cherish forever.
Whether you choose to find out early or wait until delivery, what matters most is preparing your heart, not just your nursery.
At the end of the day, you’ll be holding the most perfect little person — no matter what anyone announces in that delivery room.
You’ve got this, mama.
With love and coffee-fueled encouragement,
Jessica
